They appear in the wild, moving in packs on Instagram or silhouetted in the distance against a Lone Star horizon. Telltale flashes give them away: box-fresh black Stetson; fuzzy, candy-coloured hoodie; a glimpse of white sock peeking out between cuffed hem and chunky loafer. Below, the most aggressively invasive species taking over the menswear ecosystem. You’ve no doubt clocked them already—perhaps, even, in the mirror.
Hillbillionaire
Latin name: Emperor carpetbaggus
Endemic to: Texas; the Joe Rogan Experience podcast studio; outer space
In a new pair of snakeskin boots and a shearling jacket, the Hillbillionaire stalks the frontiers of Boca Chica, SXSW, and the paparazzi-friendly waters of Mykonos and Port Everglades, Fla. Spot him thanks to his pristine 10-gallon hat, aviator sunglasses, security detail, and utter confusion at the sight of a posthole digger.
Urban Camperman
Latin name: Boyscoutus falsus
Endemic to: REI SoHo; Hokkaido; Intelligentsia coffee shops
Nothing beats life off the grid—though, wait, he can still get a glass of Pét-Nat, right? Urban Camperman loves all things raw and untouched: Kauai waterfall selfies, Moab sunset selfies, and Shibuya streetside selfies wearing head-to-toe North Face Purple Label. Nature is a lifestyle, you know? See also: FreeSoloist
King Baby
Latin name: Athletus copycatsis
Endemic to: Pregame tunnel walks; Taylor Swift concerts; Tru Kolors warehouse sales
Like a swaddled infant come to life—but at 35 times the size—Athletus copycatsis knows that it’s hard to powerbomb the GOAT when he’s dressed like a milk-drunk Bluey fan at nap time. But don’t doubt the hustle: Bro just PR’d his WOD. The post-gym neon Crocs are just #selfcare.
Maximus Prep
Latin name: Vineyardis vulgaris
Endemic to: The Polo Bar; Murray’s Toggery Shop; Harbor View Hotel
“Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa,” anyone? Maximus Prep likes his blazers blue, his buttons gold, and his trousers adorned with the better class of Atlantic shellfish: lobster or crab, please—not mussels, you inveterate townie.
Millennial Granddude
Latin name: Hipsterus gerontophilius
Endemic to: Los Angeles; Golf le Fleur pop-ups; Parisian flea markets
Cardigan? Check. Vintage hunter’s cap and steamboat-era trunk? Check and check. Chocolate trousers last seen on a Milanese nonno? Check and mate. The Granddude loves him some old-school style swag, deftly repurposing bygone menswear staples into a youthful take on classic sartorialism. Just steer clear when he realizes there’s zero irony to the fact that ‘holy shit he just turned 40′.
Previously published on Robb Report Malaysia
